08 February 2012

Scaring Hoarders 101

Although taunting selfish hoarders is fun and entertaining, scaring them is even better.  Here are a few things that are definitely going to give them something to sweat over:

1.Restocking...A Hoarder's Worst Nightmare
      According to Target tweets, they have been restocking Jason Wu merchandise online all week and this            morning, some accessories have been added to the list...But if you're reading this post, odds are those accessories are already gone by now.

2. Starting a Facebook Page
      We wish we could take credit for this one-Swap, Sell & Buy is a Facebook page started for people who, want to swap, sell or buy Jason Wu for Target merchandise...And there are already 674 members.  Now that's a load of Jason Wu lovers!

3. Be a step ahead of them
      If your an avid fan of our blog, by now you should be able to identify a hoarder when you see one.  If you are new to our fun page, then we will teach you how to pick a hoarder out of a crowd and how to beat those SOB's at their own game:

  • They are fast-faster than you definitely are
  • They wear sneakers
  • They are chameleon-like; They are the more quiet of the bunch and blend in with their surroundings.  These chameleons know EXACTLY what they want based on their knowledge of eBay best sellers.
  • Rather than a handbag, they come with over sized Ikea bags (which they probably hoarded from Ikea- we call this Re-Hoarding) or in some cases, suitcases.

The Wreak Havoc solution:

  • Get there early-earlier than a sane person normally rolls out of bed-that's when they usually come out of hiding.
  • Bring treats.  I will explain why in #4
  • Once you get to your destination, look at feet...tons of feet.  Target that sneaker wearer. 
  • To beat your enemy, you have to know their mindset.  This is where the treats come into play.  Become friends-Lure them in with coffee and munchkins.  Why munchkins rather than a single doughnut, you ask?  If you want to beat a hoarder, you have to think like one; If you were a hoarder, wouldn't you rather 20 munchkins rather than one lonely doughnut?
  • Once hoarder is under your spell, find out what items she or he is interested in.  DO NOT REVEAL your knowledge of their identity.  If you do, you will not succeed.  The things they want, you want too.
  • They have Ikea bags, you come with jumbo garbage bags-that way they know who's boss and who sucks.
  • Once the doors open, you race that hoarder you targetted on the line.  You see her arm extend for what she covets, you extend both arms.....GRAB AND RUN!

And these are the basics of targeting that hoarder and getting in the way of their main goal which is....You guessed it-Hoarding.

 Hoarders, are you scared?  Maybe you should start hiding behind the kitty scarf you hoarded away from all of us at the Jason Wu sale.

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